Money, money, money
Today I spent some time with Lisa Conway-Hughes (AKA Miss Lolly) and Molly Benjamin recording for their Podcast – ‘She’s on the money’. This was great fun, just a big chat really – and I love their style, making finance management fun, interesting and pointing out to us all how absolutely necessary it is!
Finances are not the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about self-care though right? But shouldn’t they be a big part of our thinking? Right?!
Why should/n’t we think about this?
Money is such a BIG part of our lives, and yet something many of us are still not comfortable talking openly about. There can be many reasons why this is the case, but very often money stories or secrets are inherited from parents, grandparents and so on… I have absolutely no idea what my Grandparents, Parents or any of my siblings earn – to this day. At school I was taught maths, and not how to manage my finances.
Some of the trains of thought about all this can be: money is shameful, having money (or not) should be hidden – or maybe money should not be seen or heard! Money doesn’t grow on trees. Money is not available to me – I don’t know how to manage money. Sometimes these are called “money blocks”, which may be a familiar term to you.
There can be a lot of ‘good’ sub-conscious reasons to keep quiet on this subject, including extremely uncomfortable feelings: anxiety, distress, shame – and very often without great understanding about why they come up, or how the feelings got so extreme. The opposite of course is the desire to just bury our heads in the sand, and not think about money at all – unfortunately this can then lead to even more of the uncomfortable feelings.
In the current climate where millenials are predicted to be the most unlikely generation to own their own homes, I don’t think we can afford to not think or talk about money any more.
Am I a hopeless cause?!
Absolutely not! Even those who have made the biggest mistakes with money have made it back from financial ruin, so you can too if you need to.
- Know what your money values are, what you’re aiming for: write down your goals and make a plan.
- Have some RTT (shameless plug!), find out what is causing your scarcity or lack mindset, and get rid of it!
- LOVE yourself more! – I know that this is my stock answer to everything but it is the answer to everything! If you do this you will be able to stick to plans, and better support yourself with your goals – because you’re worth it.
- Learn about money. If you want to be good at something, you read a book, go on a course, and practice – money is no different.
- Talk about money, with your partner – and if you don’t yet have one, find out what their money values are, and don’t assume that you will have the same financial ambitions just because you have shared interests and you fancy the pants off them. Talk to your children about money, and find out what they are being taught in schools. #itsgoodtotalk (about everything actually)
- Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help when you need it: You are worth it.
Lisa and Molly did ask me what I thought about Money Manifesting: Just doing affirmations is not enough! We all have blocks, be they conscious, sub-conscious or coming from somewhere completely unexpected – in my mind the affirmations or manifestations will not work if the other stuff isn’t worked on. The second thing is that you have to take action – you can’t just ask the universe to sort it out and then be surprised when your bank account isn’t filling up whilst you sit and watch TV every afternoon. So yes, I do believe in manifesting what you want or need, but like anything it takes a bit of work! Denise Duffield Thomas has to be the go-to expert on this.
Ultimately financial self-care should be part our self-care routine
And for most people, it’s probably not. As usual I am absolutely recommending Meditation as part of a healthy self-care regime, and this works here too – having the ability to slow and calm our minds can only be a good thing when dealing with something so important. I find that I’m way more creative when I’m meditating regularly, and can think more clearly.
Learn! I remember reading Love Is Not Enough by by Merryn Somerset Webb whilst at Uni, and this was a good, eye opening intro for me! The really good news is the Lisa is about to publish her first book on the subject, which promises to be a interesting, useful and funny read which is bang up to date: Money Lessons: How to Manage Your Finances to get the Life you want.
Sign up to Lisa & Molly’s podcast ‘She’s on the Money’ via your favourite podcast app – I will share this particular one with my readers once it goes live. You can sign up to Miss Lolly’s smart financial advice (including really helpful newsletter) here
What could be better in your life?
Maybe we should talk? The easiest way to get in touch is to book into my calendar here: book here!
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It’s v important to think and discuss money. What are the kids taught at school? In my experience less than nothing. It’s a great shame. As parents we have to not just show them good habits but talk them through the mine field of options. That’s where we have to make sure our knowledge is good. This is where having our own super IFA(I highly recommend), like Lisa who you mentioned is wholly important.
Thanks Julia, the best we can do develop brilliant understanding ourselves and pass this on – part of having brilliant understanding is knowing when to ask for help! Cx