Have you ever heard of this saying? “Crossing the Rubicon”
It’s a metaphor, but like all metaphors it originated in real life: Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River in Italy in 49BC, which ultimately led to his success as Emperor of Rome. He was making big changes!
Crossing the Rubicon represented a point of no return. Once he had made that crossing there was no going back. Caesar was forbidden from going through with the crossing, he was told he could not, should not proceed. He assessed how difficult it was going to be, looked at every reason why he could or should not, and decided it was worth the risk. Likelihood realistically for him was do or die.
I think we feel like this as humans. Can you relate when you read this short explanation? I bet there have been moments where it’s felt like this in your life – do or die. (Hopefully not literally)
I know I have felt like this more than once – if I don’t do this, it will feel like a part of me will die, and am I ready to lose that part of myself?
It’s a crisis point isn’t it? A decision has to be made one way or another. And – because it’s a crisis point, it’s really hard to make a decision. So we drag the crisis out, debating it, ignoring it, hoping the need to consider it at all will just go away. Here’s the news – it won’t. You are just delaying the pain, when you could be working on the solution!
If you’re about to do something BIG – like become the Emperor of Rome, or leave your husband, or change careers, or go into therapy to tackle the big thing that you’ve never dealt with that is now completely unavoidable because it’s affecting your whole life… then crossing the Rubicon is the phrase for you!
It’s messy, it feels like you’re on the edge, and once you’ve begun, there is no going back.
It’s unsettling, and changing one thing may have an impact on elements in your life that you didn’t really want to change.
So – how can you do it? And by ‘do it’ – I mean make the decision to go for it. Sometimes looking to the future and really immersing yourself in how life is going be when… you become the Emperor of Rome (grapes, ass’s milk, victories!), and sometimes you have to immerse yourself in the pain of your current situation: My husband is an ass, and the list of what makes him so is now so long that I cannot bear to be around him at all, ever. Preferably a combined view of future and present, with an overtone of “I cannot live like this any more”.
Be selfish. You only live once, do not look back with regret and think how different life could have been. Take responsibility for satisfying your own needs and ambitions. It is your choice, so do not blame anyone else.
Did you know that 95% of people who want to make big changes don’t do it. They talk themselves out of it, or they move the goalposts, because it’s too hard. 5% of people cross the Rubicon.
Which percentage are you in?