I have been thinking about this subject for a while.
I generally don’t work with Kids, but sometimes I do – usually at the parents requests for help.
The thing about any type of therapy or coaching is that the person having the therapy or coaching has to really want it, I find that the coachee engages better if they have had to personally invest in it – financially! Kids don’t have to do that, and rarely do they have an appreciation for the value of money. Anyway, this isn’t about money…
It can be challenging to work with Kids: and when I say Kids, I’m talking about adolescents – teenagers, and young adults.
They generally think that adults are dicks, they are in the midst of raging hormones that literally enrage them, upset them or cover them in acne, which in turn causes rage and upset. I have found it can be difficult to get through the defence wall that they build around themselves.
BUT – if you do get through, working with Kids is so rewarding! They are like sponges, they soak up the new info, and really put it to use.
But I have found it puzzling, WHY are the Kids not alright? Why do we hear of mental health services bursting at the seams? Kids in the 80s & 90s didn’t seem to need so much work? Or did they?
As a 90s Kid (teenager) I was okay, had some struggles with bullying, promiscuity, tried to end my life once: not successfully clearly, and tbh it was probably a very half hearted effort, ending in a pile on the floor, with tears, thinking I can’t even get that right. But, to my knowledge: we Kids were alright.
I didn’t tell anyone I was feeling shit. I thought it was best to keep the misery to myself, get out of the shit town I grew up, go to Uni, have more fun, meet more worldly folk, etc. And then life would get better – and it did.
So what’s going on now?
Everyone is talking way more about mental health. I didn’t even know it was a thing, until I went to do my Nurse training in 1997. I’d never heard of it. I was fascinated, driven by it. I became a Mental Health Nurse.
There’s campaigns for mental health now – time to talk, and awareness days, and yet suicide is rising in numbers.
I have been touched by more suicides personally in recent years than I ever recall in the past. I hardly dealt with any professionally.
I investigated suicides in the mental health NHS trust that I worked in in latter years, and it became clear that the majority of suicides were not happening to people engaged in mental health services, but more so the general population.
I read an article recently that described the Kids having the weight of the world on their shoulders. The world is such a worry right now, pandemics, climate change, famine, war – and it’s all on the TV, internet, etc. 24 hours per day. Even if you don’t proactively watch the news: it’s there.
Apparently the Kids feel they have no power in all of this and that we older generations have well and truly fucked up the world for them. Damn!
Isn’t it weird though that the majority are not feeling empowered like Greta Thunberg to take action and do something about it, instead they feel powerless and angry.
When I was a kid, I didn’t really notice much about the world. But I was determined to make my life a happy, worthwhile one. I’m still determined. There are things that I feel passionately about, and people that I would do anything for.
It’s harder now though with the 24 hour information overload. And then what if you have a syndrome or a disorder of some kind? How do you then deal with that overload of information?
The syndromes and disorders are growing in number you know? There literally weren’t as many in the 80s and 90s.
Syndromes and disorders have had to be created so that we can better categorise people, in theory so those people can be better helped.
But it’s confusing isn’t it? Haven’t we created the labels for people, and said – “there’s something wrong with you”, when actually there is something wrong with the world?
The problems in the world are created by us humans: pandemics, climate change, famine, war, drought… and all of this broadcast to us around the clock to keep us informed, because ignorance is denial or something.
We humans in this world do not seem to value LIFE enough – or not enough of us value it.
Kids stab kids, Kids shoot other kids on mass, Kids blow up people in their vicinity, and Kids kill themselves before they’ve even had a chance to live a life.
And it’s not the fucking Kids that start all of this. It’s the organised religions, governments, organisations, gangs, families – and yes, they were all Kids somewhere along the line, but what got in the way?
Greed. Power.
That’s it. Greed & Power.
And the Kids aren’t coping with it. Hell, some of us grown up Kids aren’t coping with it.
The result: Kids are dying.
I have a solution. If every human in the world embraced one another with connection, praise, support and ultimately LOVE: the world would be a better place. Because you can’t kill someone standing in front of you with LOVE. And you can’t kill yourself if you’re in LOVE.
I’m not saying it was better in the good old days. I’m really not. I’m writing this on a laptop, and broadcasting it out online for anyone in the world to read. I love technology (when it works – but that’s a different post) and I’m truly grateful for advances in science.
BUT we have to find ways to empower the Kids around us to utilise it better, by LOVING more, LOVING themselves and valuing life.
One way is of course for everyone in the world to have some therapy and coaching – so this is part of my mission: to save the world, one woman at a time. Because the impact on the world around that one woman is immense, and she will pass that healing on – to the Kids.
This is all I can do.
I LOVE you, I’m so glad you’re here. You are valuable, important and you matter.
Dedicated to Ted(dy Bear).
