Day 17 – Friday. I was running an away day for a Network that I project manage. Very stressful: “would the annual report be printed correctly? would the lunch arrive on time? would the network members turn up? would the guest speakers turn up? would the day be useful and interesting to all?”
The fear about doing this was about feeling out of control I think. All of the questions above were outside of my control. The days running up to this event I was definitely feeling the stress rising. On the day itself, I felt some anxiety, and did some things to help combat this, e.g. leaving the house early to make sure I would be there in good time. Checking the report had been printed, being there when the food was delivered. I hadn’t banked on the difficulties there would be with IT/projectors, but by the time the day kicked off, I had let go of the fear, and settled in to a sense of que sera sera (in the words of Doris Day!).
My inner control freak was on the edge, as I had delegated some of the tasks to others. This is something I have been working on for some years now! I realised that as a Manager and Leader and as I climbed the career ladder, I couldn’t possibly continue to do everything myself, so delegation was a skill I had to develop. It can be hard to do this, and I see others struggling with it too. It can be hard to trust others to complete the requests you make of them, leaving you with feelings that “I might as well do it myself”. But this doesn’t enable others to develop their skills, nor does it give you the opportunity to develop your trust in others, and the ability to give yourself a break – que sera sera!
Day 18 – Attended a friend’s dinner party. Lovely! This was a group of my fellow Masters degree students, we were celebrating the end! A small group of us and some spouses. We all took cheeses that had to represent ourselves and then guess each other’s offerings. Nothing scary about this right?! Well, no I wasn’t jumping off a cliff I grant you, but I always feel a little trepidation about such events, a bit of shyness sneaks in, and I find myself hoping that I will have something interesting to say, that people won’t find me just a little dull – mental chatter kicking in. I needn’t have worried of course, the evening was fine, as was the food, company, wine & cheese. Towards the end of the night, we gathered around the piano and sang, it was much fun!
In the spirit of this spontaneous sing-song, sing along!
(NB this is not one of the songs from the evening – but is clearly apt & relating to day 17!)