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10 things to know about Coaching

 

Chrissy Reeves2017-03-12T17:55:13+00:00

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About the Author: Chrissy Reeves

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Samhain is where the traditions of hallowe’en de Samhain is where the traditions of hallowe’en descend: a Celtish festival marking the eve of Winter (beginning on November 1st). During this festival, souls of those who had died during the year were believed to visit their old homes and then journey to the otherworld. People set bonfires on hilltops for relighting their home fires for the winter - and to frighten away any evil spirits, and they wore masks and other disguises to avoid being recognized by the ghosts thought to be present. It was in those ways that beings such as witches, hobgoblins, fairies, and demons came to be associated with the day. 👺👹👻🎃🧙‍♀️🧟‍♂️ So happy Hallowe’en! Pic of James and I dressed for our hallowe’en party at the weekend - he is actually wearing a skeleton sweatshirt, having refused to wear the ghost outfit I bought him, after having told everyone who would listen that he would indeed be a ghost for hallowe’en #threenager
And I think they’re hanging off my every word! B And I think they’re hanging off my every word! But actually they’re all just posing for the camera! All a matter of perspective! Lovely get together for lunch with fellow women in business yesterday: @set_marketing_ltd @jo_tocherholistics @bluecrystallondon Makes such a difference to have biz buddies when you work alone and from home! #outofoffice
Day 9 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough Day 9 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough to promote your business, share your work, and do so happily, fearlessly, whilst enjoying the process! FEAR OF JUDGEMENT FROM OTHERS. Do you have a strong desire to be liked? Or be the funniest? Or to have everyone want to speak to you personally at the end? You may need to plan what would be a successful outcome for you at the end of whatever it is that you're presenting. Remember - you have absolutely no control on what others think, all you can do is be satisfied with your performance. In my experience with clients, this is one of the biggest problems that our brains come up with: If this is an issue for you, plan it in to your work. Do all the things you need to do to practically deliver something that YOU are proud of. And then experiment with reverse paranoia. Instead of expecting to be judged negatively by others, decide to only accept positive judgement. Walk out onto that stage and expect everyone to love you, to hang off your every word, to immediately go to your website and buy all of your products, to tell everyone they know about you and what you do. It's just an experiment, so you don't have to commit to doing it forever. Just for now. And see how it feels. No one expects perfection, and neither should you. Let me know how you get on - it's actually harder to do than it sounds! But - so worth it.
Day 8 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough Day 8 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough to promote your business, share your work, and do so happily, fearlessly, whilst enjoying the process! Rehearse - or rubber ducking! Rehearse what you're going to do. Know how long it takes. Figure out what sounds right - or not. Don't over-rehearse! This is where you risk turning it into a speech (unless it is a speech of course!) Who are you rehearsing too? If you're presenting online, I would practice to camera! You may baulk at this idea - I know, I know, watching yourself back can be painful! I'm used to it now, I've done it so often, it's still a little excruciating from time to time, but I can bear it. Watching yourself back allows you to notice anything you don't like(!!) and then you can improve upon it - for example, the obvious one is people saying 'erm' a lot, for me it's beginning sentences with 'so'. I hate hearing myself doing it, but actually I do it quite a lot in real life! However - these words are superfluous, and can show that you're nervous. There are all kinds of little things like this, which rehearsing, or practicing to camera can help you to tidy up. If it's a live audience, the video may be overkill, but still you have to say it out loud, look at the audience, engage, pause for thought, take questions, so if you can rehearse in front of someone it might be helpful. Or you use the toddler's rubber ducks: line them up, and give it your best shot. Have you heard of rubber ducking?! 🦆 Let me know - and let me know if this post was useful, are you now going to try rehearsing to camera?! (You should know that apparently the first hundred videos are cringeworthy, but it gets better after that! 😱)
Day 7 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough Day 7 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough to promote your business, share your work, and do so happily, fearlessly, whilst enjoying the process! Get dressed up! You spent some time visualising yourself doing this yesterday - so how did you look? Were you washed, teeth cleaned, nails done? Or maybe you were naked from the waist down?! Hopefully only if you're online! But seriously, image does matter - and there's no one it matters more to than YOU! How does it please you to show up for yourself? Personally I like to have my make up on, and be dressed smart casual. Make up is part of my daily routine, I like it, I'd rather be seen in it than not - but you might never wear make up, you might get sweaty in it, it might make you feel like you're pretending to be someone you're not. In which case, don't wear it! You need to feel comfortable above all. You need to feel satisfied with how you are putting yourself into the world. And - if you're not happy with something, get someone to help you change it. For example, the make up thing... maybe you would feel better in a bit of make up about your appearance on camera, but you don't normally wear it, and you feel a bit silly in it. Ask for help! There are plenty of Make Up Artists in the world who do individual consultations or groups, and maybe you just need to find the right product for you. If it's your clothes, invest in your wardrobe, even if it's just for one outfit for presenting in. Hire a stylist to help. (My advice - do not wear your 'sitting down shoes'. Everyone has a pair of shoes they can hardly walk in right? Sitting down shoes, for going out to dinner in. Totally impractical for even crossing a car park or going to the toilet - it's not just me is it? Don't wear your sitting down shoes when you are public speaking, even if you won't be standing up. You'll regret it, take it from me.) How do you want the world to see you? How do you want your audience to remember you?
Day 6 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough Day 6 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough to promote your business, share your work, and do so happily, fearlessly, whilst enjoying the process! Visualise yourself doing it. Visualise yourself doing it brilliantly, with everything working out just as you would want it to. Visualise yourself doing it, every day, with the detail growing every day. Visualise yourself at the event, see the audience, what you're wearing, the lighting - how bright it is in there, almost touch it, taste it, smell it. Use all of your senses. You mind responds to the words and pictures you show it. So you must show it what success looks and feels like to you. Your mind believes what you tell it, so tell it how brilliant you are at talking about your work, tell it how much you love it! Add a bit of excitement, how you can't wait to be helping more people, and letting more people know how this stuff works! You are almost manifesting success now: this is the law of attraction. What we put out into the world is what we get back. So get your brain on board with how well you want to do this, and what being successful at doing this might do for you, your life, your business, and the people you care about! The Russian gymnastics team used visualisation every day as part of their training regime in the 1976 Olympics, and they cleaned up on the medal front. They were willing to do anything to achieve success, even if they thought it was a load of rubbish. Now the technique is used all over the world by some very successful people! Your instruction: spend about 5 minutes of your day visualising in your mind what success looks like for you, and because you're doing it every day, the detail should grow and grow. Secondly - write it down, every day, even if you're writing the same thing every day. Write it as though you had already achieved the success, so I am statements, rather than I will. Even if you don't believe in it - let's see what happens? Would love to hear from you on how it goes...
Day 5 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough Day 5 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough to promote your business, share your work, and do so happily, fearlessly, whilst enjoying the process! PREPARATION It's obvious isn't it? Be prepared. I'm assuming that you know your subject. I'm assuming that you have your speech written, your powerpoint presentation all set up and you are good to go? Not really! Speeches aren't really a thing - unless you're giving away your daughter at her wedding, or you're the new Prime Minister. And let's be realistic here, these speeches don't necessarily go well do they?! Speeches can come across as wooden, disengaged, and a little strange. Mind maps, bullet points, even cards with a couple of words just to prompt your brain to saying the right words. If you're online, you could even share these things as a powerpoint, or a screen share. Know your audience. Have you met them before? Do they have experience of you, what you do, or even your sense of humour? If it's a cold audience, you may have to manage your joke delivery! Do you know where you're going? Do you know what's normal for the group of people in front of you? Are they used to death by powerpoint? Do you have any technology available to you? Or is it just you, speaking an interview panel? How do you want to come across? Organised - arrive on time, know people's names, bring your notes! Considerate - have thought about the audience and what they need to hear from you about what you do. Ultimately - what do you want them to leave with? Plan to leave the audience with no more than three points that you want them to take away. Expecting them to take away your every word is just not going to happen! So what are the key things that you want them to remember you for?
Day 4 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough Day 4 of my Top Tips for feeling confident enough to promote your business, share your work, and do so happily, fearlessly, whilst enjoying the process! SINGING! Yep, I said singing. Warm up your voice. This is especially useful if what you are going to be doing is online, and it's first thing in the morning, and you haven't yet spoken to anyone else that day (except the animals and your toddler - sorry, they don't count!) If you were a singer, you would definitely warm up before you went on stage. If you were an actor, you would warm up before you got in front of your audience. Here's the news: it's the same for you! Put on your favourite song, and sing at the top of your voice, aim for high notes, low notes - the whole range. It matters not whether you're in tune, it is purely so that you are ready to speak! Accentuate your mouth movements whilst you're doing it - open your mouth wide, exaggerate! And of course, don't forget to breathe (see day 1!). Pic of me and toddler warming up together - so now you see what I mean! This should be as routine as getting dressed in the morning, or putting shoes on before you leave the house! Sing - loudly, badly, I don't care, but sing! What are you singing?! I'd love to know

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