Two days working on exposure, taking some vulnerability risks. Still building up to this, not quite taken the scary steps – too scared! I’m moving 1% closer each day, that means in 100 days, I’ll be there – wherever there is!
Exposure is the biggest deal for me. I have jumped off cliffs, I can abseil, rock climb, in fact physical challenges, I want them! I thrive on them. I actually want to win. Some call that competitive I think 😉
(I don’t always say I want to win – in case I don’t, but deep down I want to!)
What I find hard, and I know others do too, is the vulnerability shit! Asking for help. Asking for things that I want. Admitting that I can’t make it on my own, that’s the hard part. But why should I actually? We humans are social animals, we live in communities, we are joined together through family connections, work and mutual interests, and yet when things get tough, we are more likely to attempt to solve them alone. We don’t want others to know that life isn’t picture perfect and that we could do with a hand from time to time.
Connection is the thing we most want and yet are most fearful of: getting too close (scary), intimacy (back off!) and ultimately the shame that comes with rejection, or getting it wrong.
So what I’m working on is reaching out, connecting more. It’s hard for me, but I’m doing it anyway.
Oh yeah, and I start at the Triathlon Club on November 10th – bring it on! (Terrified, but in a good way, and I win, just because I’m doing it!)